MY ENGLISH CLASS

  6. UNUSUAL EXPRESSIONS   Some words with quite commom meanings can be used in word partnership with meanings which are difficult to guess. Complete the following more unusual expressions. 1.       What happened to the thief who stole a kilometre of elastic? He was put in prison for a long ..... .   2.       When does a boat show its affection? When it ..... the shore.   3.       Dis you hear about the cat that came first in the milk- drinking competition? It won by six ..... .   4.       What do you do if you split your sides laughing? Run until you get a ..... .   5.       Did you hear about the opticianwho fell into his lens- grinding machine? He made a ..... of himself.   6.       What does a king do after he burps? He issues a royal ..... .   7.       How can broken bones be productive? When they begin to ..... together.   8.       Why did the ant rush across the top of a cereal packet? Because it said ” ..... along the dotted l

  5. HOMOPHONES Homophones are two words which have the same sound but different meanings. Complete the following jokes. The humour depends on homophones in each one. 1.       Waiter, what do you call this? It is ..... soup, sir. I do not care what it is ..... . What is it now?   2.       Have you ever hunted .....? No, I always hunt with my clothes on.   3.       Why are black clouds like somebody riding a horse? Because they both hold the ..... .   4.       A teacher saw two boys fighting in the playground. Stop! You know the school rules – no fighting ...... . But, sir, we were not fighting ..... . We were fighting quietly.   5.       What is the effect of seven days dieting? They make one ..... .   6.       Did you hear about the novelist who lived on the ninth floor of a block of flats? He dropped six ..... into a wastepaper basket and lived.   7.       How can I get rid of my headache? Hit your head against a window and the ..... wi

  4. PUNS   A pun is a play upon words – usually one word with two meanings. For example, a mouse is both an animal and something you use with a computer. Complete these jokes with puns. 1.       Have you noticed any ..... in me? No, why? I have just swallowed some coins accidentally.   2.       Some girls think I am handsome and some girls think I am horrible. What do you think, Mary? A bit of both ..... ......   3.       You have to be rich to play golf. Then why are there so many ..... players?   4.       I think we have just had a puncture. How did it happen? There was a ..... in the road.   5.       Well son, how was your first day at the new school? Great! The teacher is going t ogive me a gift. How do you know that? Well, when I arrived, she pointed to a chair in the corner and said, ”Sit over there for the .....”   6.       Why did the two astronauts decide to leave the restaurant on the moon and return to one on Earth? They said

  3. Word Partnership   A word partnership – or collocation – is two or more words which go together in a special way – a golden opportunity . Complete the following jokes with word partnerships.   1.       What does an angry kangaroo do? It gets ..... mad.   2.       Doctor, when I got o bed, I wake up every thirty minutes. Are you a ..... sleeper? No, I sleep in the dark.   3.       You are late for school again. What is your excuse? I sprained my ankle and I could not walk properly, sir. That is a ..... excuse.   4.       Why did a burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a ..... getaway.   5.       I have invented a new pill. Half of the pil lis aspirin and the other half is glue. But who is it for? People with ..... headaches.   6.       What did the hooligan say after breaking all the school windows? I have had a ..... time.   7.       Did you hear about the undertaker who burried somebody in the wrong cementery? He lost his j

  2. PHRASAL VERBS   Complete each joke with a verb. Try to do it without looking at the list of verbs at the bottom of the page. Each verb makes up a phrasal verb. Underline them all.   1.       Doctor, doctor, I can't sleep at night. Sleep on the edge of the bed and you will soon ..... off.   2.       Why are ghost bad at telling lies? Because you can always ..... through them.   3.       Why do birds in a nest always agree? Because they do not want to ..... out.   4.       When is a deep-sea diver disappointed with his colleagues? When they ..... him down.   5.       What trainning do you need to become a rubbish collector? None, you ..... it up as you go along.   6.       Waiter, I asked you to bring my order quickly but why is the food on my plate all squashed? Well sir, when you ordered your food, you did tell me to ..... on it.   7.       Why do taxi-drivers always go bankrupt? Because they ..... their customers away.   8.   

  1.       IDIOMS   Can you complete these jokes? Try first without looking at the answers. Each answer depends on a common English idiom. Do you understand each one?   1.       Why can't you play jokes on snakes? ................................... 2.       When is an actor happy to become a thief? ................................... 3.       My mother made a terrible mistake today. She gave my father soapflakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast. Was he angry? ...................................... 4.       Two flies flew onto a cup and argued about who arrived first and who should get to drink the cold coffee. Which one got angry and left? ........................................ 5.       Why is it impossible to play tennis quietly? ........................................ 6.       How could you help a starving cannibal? .......................................... 7.       When does a patient find an operation funny? ...........................

  5 It was raining hard but when I went to get my umbrella, I found that out of the five umbrellas we have at home, there was not one I could use. I decided to take all the five umbrellas to an umbrella-maker. So I took them, left them at the umbrella- maker's, saying that I would call for the umbrellas on my way home in the evening. When I went to dine in the afternoon, it was still raining very hard. I went to a nearby restaurant, sat down at a table and had been there only a few minutes when a young woman came in and sat down at the same table with me. I was the first to finish and when I got up, I absent-mindedly took her umbrella and started for the door. She called out for me and reminded me that I had taken her umbrella. I returned it to her with many apologies. In the evening I called for my umbrellas, bought a newspaper and got on a tram. The young woman was in the tram too. She looked at me and said: ”You have had a successful day today, haven't you?”   CO